


Taming The Tiger

by MilenaRose



Category: D. Gray-man, D.Gray-man
Genre: Comedy, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, Humor, M/M, Romantic Comedy, Romantic Fluff, Shameless Smut, Smut, Uke, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-25
Updated: 2016-04-11
Packaged: 2018-05-23 06:11:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6107572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MilenaRose/pseuds/MilenaRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a drunken Kanda kisses Allen in an abandoned hallway, things have started to change. Kanda must deal with how he feels for Allen, who is too stunned to react. Then he's mauled by a wet Kanda. Later on their mission together Tyki gives an aphrodisiac to Allen and Kanda has to help him. Will Kanda come to terms and will Allen accept them? AreKan/Yullen. Yaoi.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This is my first published fan fiction, so please let me know what you think. I enjoyed writing it, I have several more chapters written and on the way.
> 
> There is a lime in this chapter, lemon in the next one so if you don't want to read a story with sexual situations between men, this one might not be for you but it's about love too.
> 
> I do not own D. Gray-Man.

Allen had just arrived at the cafeteria after working up an appetite. He had recently returned from a exhaustive mission with Lenalee and was still injured, but he knew his best chance of healing was to get his parasitic innocence the fuel it required. He sat down next to Lenalee and Lavi with a tower of food to devour.

The exorcists were catching up on each others' missions when they noticed Kanda staggering around until he sat down a few seats away from them and started to eat his soba in silence. "Hey Lavi, what's wrong with Kanda is he injured or something?" Allen asked. Lavi began to giggle mischievously and Allen raised his eyebrow at him.

"What did you do?!" Lenalee smacked Lavi in the back of the head. "What?" he said defensively, "He was extra cranky and tense on our mission so I decided that when we came back I would spike his tea with alcohol. Maybe it will lower his inhibitions and make him relax a little. I was only looking out for Yuu-chan. But if he eats that soba, it will probably wear off soon..." He frowned like a little boy that had his toy taken away from him.

As Lenalee and Lavi argued back and forth Allen tuned them out, wondering how Kanda was fooled by this foolish prank.  _Serves Kanda right, that jerk! Heh. Lavi should fear for his life when it wears off though_ …

After Allen had finished his mountain food he headed for his room, almost of wishing Kanda was around so he could witness him embarrass himself. Suddenly all his thoughts were shoved out of his head when he was slammed against the wall in the dimly lit Dark Order hallway.

His breath was momentarily forced out of his lungs and he was ready for a fight against his mysterious attacker. But when the air returned to him, he looked up and was shocked at what he saw. "K-Kanda?!" "Che."

Being this close to Kanda when they weren't fighting, just  _standing_  there almost touching each other's bodies was… _different_ …

He could feel warm breath on his face and Kanda looked flushed, likely from the alcohol in his veins. "Are you…alright?" "Why wouldn't I be Moyashi?" 

 _Well…because you have me pinned to the wall, you haven't tried to hit me or even threaten me yet, Mugen is safely in its sheath, and you appear to be blushing_ …

"Kanda?" "Shut up."

But Allen wasn't going to have that, he was about to demand answers when he felt warm lips ghost over his own causing his breath to hitch and all the muscles in his body to freeze. He almost thought Kanda was going to kiss him but he didn't, he tilted his head to the side and kissed and sucked on Allen's throat causing him to release a moan when Kanda found a particularly sensitive spot over his pulse.

Kanda drank up that sound determined to pull more from him as he marked up his skin. As Allen's body finally relaxed against him, he made his way to his face kissing him gently everywhere except his lips, it was almost… _reverent_ , but that couldn't be possible.

Kanda looked at his moyashi, his eyes were closed, his head was tilted to allow Kanda access and he had finally worked up a flush.  _Yes this is is exactly where I want him_. Then when Allen's eyes fluttered open and he looked at Kanda questioningly he finally closed in on his lips.

He claimed them passionately and Allen gasped when Kanda's hand somehow made it up his shirt, it was cold but somehow managed to spread fire through his body.  _Mm…Moyashi tastes sweet like dango, maybe I'll have to try some next time but they won't taste nearly as good as he does_.

When they pulled apart the exorcist with the snow white hair looked up half lidded into Kanda's darkened lust filled eyes and he breathed out softly, "Kanda…" With his other hand Kanda reached down to trace Allen's growing erection with his palm, causing him to moan and throw his head back against the wall splaying his silver hair out like a halo.

The sound sent blood straight to Kanda's arousal which was currently pressed against Allen's inner thigh. Allen gripped the older man's shoulders, panting in his ear as Kanda marked up his neck with love bites. That blush on Kanda's face somehow made him look even sexier than before if that was possible.

Suddenly they jolted apart when they heard talking coming from down the hall. Allen looked in the direction the voices were coming from but when he looked back Kanda was gone, like he'd never been there. He sighed and then realized he have an awkward walk back to his room.

oooooo000000000000oooooo

Back in Allen's room, he was verbally debating himself in a state of sheer panic.

 _What the hell just happened?! He-he was under the influence, he just had his inhibitions removed that's all. But if that's what he does when his inhibitions are- then what the-? Ugh, I'm so confused, and horrified, and mildly aroused. What the hell did he just do to me? I'll never be able to look at him again! You mean without getting embarrassed and aroused? I'm screwed. I never knew Kanda could…be like that, and gentle too. But those were only hidden desires and apparently all that being under the influence brought out was a mildly rape-y Kanda (not really) who only wanted my body_.

He sighed disappointedly.  _I hadn't exactly said no or told him to get lost did I? No…his body was so warm and that look in his eye nearly melted all my bones, (except one, heh heh, I am such a perv! Lavi must be rubbing off on me). What am I going to do around Kanda? Ok, I'll just have to avoid him like the plague_!

And that's exactly what he did.

After days of hiding out in his room and occasionally ducking into the library, Allen finally decided he had to stop worrying his friends. He came out to their usual hangout and his favorite place, the cafeteria. Lavi was waving excitedly, "Hey Yuu-chan Allen's here!" "Che, what do I care idiot? And don't call me that!"

Allen sat next to Lenalee and Lavi, Kanda was diagonal from him a few seats down, (he was sitting with them but wasn't at the same time.)

"I feel like we haven't seen you in a long time Allen are you ok? You weren't sick were you? It looks like you have a rash on your neck."

"Huh?"

A rash?  .  .  .

Then he froze in horror when he realized that he must still have that hickey, damn how hard did Kanda suck- no, he really shouldn't think about that right now. Lenalee was curious, but the Bookman Jr. was giving him a knowing smile and that just made his horrified expression intensify.

Allen quickly looked around for a patsy to blame it on, anyone but Kanda because they'd never hear the end of it. Kanda would be mad and he probably didn't even remember anyway. Then he blurted out a response without even thinking, "I burned myself with a candle!" Lenalee and Lavi looked at each other curiously and Allen didn't see Kanda's raised eyebrow.

"Oh come on Allen, you must be getting some action? Who is it, who is it?!" Lavi was jumping up an down in his seat like an excited puppy. And Allen's horrified expression returned full force.

"If that true Allen?" Lenalee asked curiously, if a bit disappointedly. She had a crush on him since he first came to the order and Allen remained oblivious, but Lavi was there to comfort her. "No! No it's not true!" He waved his hands up defensively. "Fine don't tell us," Lavi pouted, "But if you do get some loving, promise I'll be the first to know? You know, for Bookman purposes only," he winked. He definitely wasn't convincing anyone.

"Uh sure?" he replied hesitantly. Kanda was trying to fight off an amused smile at how much Allen was worried over a hickey and his expression was…cute. This was the first time he had seen Allen for three days all which was very unusual since he was outgoing and could normally be easily found, it wasn't as if he'd actually looked or anything…

Ok so the boy was avoiding him and he wasn't about to admit it but he was mildly pissed which in Kanda language meant really pissed. He hadn't meant to scare Allen off or make him feel disgusted, or worse lose him entirely by making him hate him, (real hate, not their usual mock-hatred).

But the moyashi was his and the thought of him with anyone else made him feel sick.  _I'm the one that should feel disgusted, these emotions are nothing but troublesome_. But after Allen had almost died on their last mission together, he realized that life is short. And even if he couldn't die for now, Allen could and he would never forgive himself if he never- never...

He had to come up with a plan.

**Flashback four days earlier:**

Kanda had just returned from his mission extremely irritated and tense, filled with repressed sexual needs. He would be okay with that, but it was focused solely on one person: his Moyashi. And when the hell did he start considering him his?! It was definitely a love/hate thing, and it was unbearable. 

 _These emotions have no place in my life._   _Sexual desire is one thing but the desire to hold him and keep him safe is sick! I must be losing it_. Connections with other people are doomed, especially in life a soldier because the chances of losing them are even greater.

His life was practically over, he knew it. He was irrevocably in  _something_  with Allen Walker, that self-sacrificing idiot, and that made his chance of losing him very high.  _He doesn't know how selfish it is to die and leave people behind. That Idiot. But which of us is more of an idiot, if I am a fool enough to want someone that, one way or another, I am doomed to lose_?

Kanda had been struggling with this sexual tension for weeks non-stop, something had to be done! He couldn't think about anything else and all the training in the world was not enough to stop it, even if he pushed himself to the point of exhaustion. He was barricaded in his room set with one mission: to relieve some of the tension, in the hopes it would get his aching need to cool off, if only for a while.

The idea that he would be reduced to touching himself, disturbed him, he saw it as a distraction, pleasure was not a necessity. But occasionally in the past he had resorted to this only when he was more tense than usual.

Right now however, he was about to snap at any minute from the stress. So he bowed his head in shame, shed his clothes and then slid his hand down his stomach to his throbbing arousal. He gasped softly when he made contact with his sensitive skin. Instead of how he had been trying to murder any thought about his Moyashi which was almost constantly, he closed his eyes and let his mind finally run free. It infuriated him but he only had himself to blame.

He pictured Allen naked and spread below him like an offering on an alter. What that porcelain skin would feel like against his... This was horrifying, shameful, delicious, exhilarating.  _I want him so bad_.

Then his mind wandered to when he and Allen had fought each other so long ago and that fierce look in his eyes when he was brave enough to grab his wrist that day when he had been arguing with the finders. He moved his hand faster thinking about their bodies joining and becoming one, slamming into him over and over.

Whoever was more dominant didn't matter much to him because when innocent sweet Allen Walker was dominant it was incredibly sexy. Every time they argued he wanted to throw him down and pound him into the ground, but again the other way around also excited him, though he would loathe to admit it. He reached below and fingered his entrance, and then began stroking the inside of his walls imagining they were Moyashi's hands on him and inside him.

He gasped when he hit that spot inside him that made him see white, he was so close. 'Does it feel good Kanda?' he would whisper in his ear. He pictured his lover claiming his lips as they danced an erotic dance together. He saw Allen reaching between them to finish him and he sped up his hand in response, until he was flooded with pleasure, pouring out his desire onto his hand and stomach. "Nnn…Moyashi!"

He gasped as he caught his breath, coming down from his high, but as soon as he did he felt cold without the warmth of Allen in his arms.  _I need him. I need him to want me too. This is ridiculous!_

The Bookman snickered from where he had been listening like the pervert he was. He marked a confirmation in his book, and smirked evilly.  _So that's how it is huh_ , and he snickered. If they didn't get together on their own, maybe he'd bend the Bookman rules a bit and conspire with Lenalee to help them out. Poor Allen is always too oblivious to notice the ones who desire him...

But maybe this time he'd have a chance to really be happy with someone. Their little hero deserved that much after sacrificing his life to the Order, and Lavi would get to tease them and spy on them for the rest of their lives, everybody wins.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Two chapters in one day, yay I hope you like it. This chapter has a lemon, and a lot of fluff and the end. More chapters written and on the way. Btw, if you don't like Allen as the seme down't worry the next chapter Kanda is the seme personally I think real life couples probably take turns most of the time, but it depends on the couple. When I first posted this it had a few typo's, as far as I know they've been corrected. Please leave a review about what you'd like to see. After this is completed I will probably write one on Black Butler.
> 
> I do not own D. Gray-Man.

Allen had spent the day of fleeing from Lord Komulin the 7th while trying to convince that 'walking sister-complex' (Komui), that he was not actually romantically pursuing Lenalee. To his horror Komui asked Allen to prove it by kissing someone else in front of him, Kanda had been in the hall probably too far to hear or care about a word of the conversation but Allen fled, running faster than anyone had ever seen him run.

Little did he know it was Lavi that had sent Komui after Allen, he had been scheming ever since he discovered Kanda's feelings for the silver haired exorcist.

After the stressful day, Allen walked into the shower room. It looked mostly empty so he decided he could take his time to unwind and not worry too much about saving the hot water for the next person. He turned on the water and sighed as he relaxed into the warmth letting it soothe his muscles.

Suddenly he let out a very undignified shriek when he felt strong arms snake around his waist and a completely naked body against his back, and all his previously relaxed muscles became rigid. "Calm down, Moyashi." "Kanda?! What the hell are you doing, are you drunk?" 

 _Oh god his naked body is pressed against me, sexy, scary Kanda's naked body! I'm going to die! I didn't think it would be so soon but_ \- "I don't drink."

Kanda hand slid up his chest and started thumbing his nipple, and Allen was trying not to have a panic-attack. "But- wait you hate me, what the hell?!" "I want you, I would not have kissed you if I didn't like you. I am still going to punish you for avoiding me…Mo-ya-shi." Allen fought down a shudder at the seductive way he used his nickname. 

"Wait you…remember?" "Che, of course I remember."

"But- but Lavi- Lavi said he spiked your tea with alcohol." "I know." He froze and when he snapped out of it- "What? What do you mean you  _know_?!" Kanda smiled at the irritated look on his Moyashi's flushed face, his disheveled white hair covering a dangerous look in his eyes.

"He has tried that before, and his incessant giggling is hard to miss." "So before…in the hall…" "I was…faking," he said huskily and then nibbled his Moyashi's ear.

 _His breath never_ did _smell like alcohol that day…So that blush was actually_ -! He never got a chance to finish that thought because Kanda had turned him in his arms and started kissing him with a fierce intensity. They broke apart staring at each other with half lidded eyes. Kanda moved forward and lick a drop of water that was sliding down his jaw, causing him to shudder and go limp in his arms.

 **Flashback five minutes ago** :

Before Allen came in, Kanda had been finishing up his cold shower, willing his erection to go away, but the thought of being with Allen didn't go away and thus the cold was not enough to will away the force of his desire.  _I want him_! He was promising himself that he would have to jump Allen the next time he saw him for the sake of his own sanity and the safety of his future missions. And then in came an angel sent to grant his wish in the form of Allen Walker, soon to be naked too, this would be perfect.

 **Flashback End**.

Allen gasped when he felt Kanda hard and pressing against his thigh, his naked skin pressed up against the samurai's.  _Do I really arouse Kanda that much? Why does he want_ me _?_  He was quickly brought out of his thoughts when Kanda took hold of Allen backside and pressed him closer to give friction to their sensitive flesh.

"Mnn…," Allen moaned when he felt Kanda's hand glide down his chest to wrap around his arousal. "Why Kanda?" he asked with what little rational thought he had left. "Hn...Because I want you." _And I always have_. 

The raven haired exorcist pressed his forehead against Allen's closing his eyes for a moment to feel the warmth of his body. "Moyashi…" he breathed in his ear, Allen was sure it was the most erotic thing he'd ever heard. Kanda slid down to his knee's feeling the cool tile against his heated skin.

He looked up at Allen's glowing face and surprised him by engulfing his need, with a blush of his own. He'd never done anything like this before so he was hoping not to make a fool of himself. "Uh! Hah…Nnng…" Kanda enjoyed the look of shocked pleasure on his Moyashi's face, his brows were knitted, his eyes shut tight, mouth open.

He slid his hands down to Kanda's wet hair that hung down on his shoulders like a curtain of silk, and stroked the back of his neck with his other hand. That small touch against his neck sent shivers down his spine and caused him to moan around Allen's length sending the vibrations of it through his whole body.  _Uh! That tongue!_

When Allen finally pried open his eyes he saw that Kanda was touching himself while giving pleasure to him and he felt himself on the edge of his release from that sight alone. "Oh Kanda…I'm…mnn…so close." "Let go Moyashi, I want to taste you." It was so surreal, like he wasn't in his own body or that all this was merely a dream, that Kanda would say something like that…do something like this…it was too much.

He felt Kanda groan around his arousal as he found his release as he couldn't contain it anymore. "Uh! Mnnng!" Kanda swallowed all of his release that he could manage except a little that dribbled down the corner of his mouth and he stubbornly kept trying to reach it with his tongue. Allen knew Kanda would kill him if he knew, but he thought it was sort of…cute.

Allen reached down and cupped his face with his cursed hand and moved Kanda to look up at him and he looked so beautiful, wet and recovering from orgasm, his dark eyes filled with desire. He pulled Kanda up by the shoulder, his other hand still under his chin as he pulled him to a passionate kiss. Allen could taste himself on Kanda's lips and he felt strangely proud that Kanda was with him and not anyone else.

They moved back under the spray of the shower, which by now was getting rather cold but as soon as they were done Kanda pulled Allen by the hand to his room, running through the halls both still wet and barely dressed. If anyone had seen them, they would surely have seen a peculiar sight. As soon as he closed the door Allen slammed Kanda against it and fused their lips together.

Kanda was surprised at his lover's action but it sent a shiver of excitement up his spine. One of the reasons he cared for Allen so much was because he was one of the few people alive that weren't afraid of him, and Kanda got a secret thrill every time he stood up to him. This wasn't the same but it felt similar, maybe that explained why Marie had been brave enough to tell him that when he was fighting with Allen it looked like foreplay, maybe because that's exactly what it was.

Their damp skin was an unusual element in their seduction, but they tore off their clothes and slowly explored each other's bodies. Allen ran his hands over Kanda's chest and slid his fingers gently over his painfully sensitive tattoo, but Allen was so gentle (at least when he was touching that spot), like the caress of a butterfly.

Then Kanda's eyes suddenly got dark when he realized he wanted to consume and be consumed by Allen and he wouldn't be satisfied until he couldn't tell where one body began and the other ended. He wanted more, to be closer to him, more than just the feel of skin on skin so he led Allen to his bed.

Kanda sat down and when he looked up he had to double take what he saw, Allen was standing before him lit by the setting sun through the stained glass window, his white skin was glowing and his silver hair looked like a halo. Kanda was growing impatient, as he usually was, but he was torn between dragging this on as long as possible or getting to feel that intense pleasure with his Moyashi was soon as possible.

He tugged Allen down, who complied and hovered over him before brushing his lips in a kiss so sweet it made his chest feel tight.

"Kanda…do want this? Do you want  _me_?" "Yes…" he breathed out softly, then he remembered himself a little. "You know I'm not the type who would- just shut up and fuck me before I come to my senses!" he growled. Allen was not affected by his irritation or impatience at all, being well used to it by now, and he gave him a warm smile. A gentle one that actually seemed real for once and it nearly sucked out all the breath in Kanda's lungs.

When the trance was broken he pulled Allen close and said, "I trust you." Allen froze and leaned down to give a Kanda another kiss that was anything but lustful and left both trembling for a whole other reason. But still, Kanda was impatient and was determined to remind him of what he wanted by rolling his hips against Allen's. They gasped as their warm aroused flesh rubbed against the each other.

They both sat up trying to vie for a position to get closer to each other until Kanda was sitting on Allen's lap, straddling him. Allen gripped the damp hair at the back of his neck pulled Kanda's head all the way back and he looked so sexy like that with his eyes closed and his lips parted as Allen attacked his neck with handful of his hair in his hand.

 _That boy just went from uke to seme in two seconds flat_. "Nng…" Kanda groaned at the slightly rough treatment of his hair, it was so sensitive and he loved it. Kanda's deep voice made Allen's arousal throb where it pressed against the raven haired exorcist. Kanda was slightly more quiet when he voiced his pleasure but every sound made Allen want to beg to hear more.

Allen slowly raised his hands and pressed three fingers to Kanda's lips. He was about to instruct him when Kanda took them into his mouth and started coating them very slowly watching Allen's face as he teased his fingers with his tongue. He smirked when he saw how Allen was entranced with every movement of his tongue.

When they were wet enough Allen took them out of his mouth and immediately crashed their lips together after seeing Kanda's dazed expression and shiny lips. Allen kept kissing him while he teased his entrance and then pushed inside him, stroking his toned chest soothingly with his other hand.

After slowly stretching him he could tell Kanda was growing restless so he slipped in his last finger causing Kanda to hiss and tense. "Kanda, I'm sorry. Relax and it will feel better." "Easier said than done Moyashi…" he growled, "I've never done this before…" He didn't want to mention the fact that he had been sort of…practicing a little on himself to be ready, a fact which he would rather die than admit.

But he also wanted to know if Allen had done something like this before, he seemed to know more about this than him, maybe that damn Cross had been corrupting his sweet innocent apprentice! Then Allen stroked a place inside him that made him nearly blind with pleasure. He gasped out in shock, and Allen smirked and pushed Kanda gently off his lap to lie beneath him.

Allen knew joining their bodies would be beyond pleasurable, but he was sure this would be one of his favorite parts of making love to Kanda. To be able to focus on giving him pleasure without being blinded by his own, to able to see Kanda's every reaction was beyond arousing. "Unng, enough. I want you now…Moyashi."

Allen locked eyes with Kanda and then leaned down to join their lips, until their kiss became more and more desperate and Allen pulled away to look for confirmation in his eyes. "Damn it, do I have to beg, do it already!" "That would be an interesting thing to see…" he said huskily. Kanda was about to start yelling and hitting him when he crashed their lips back together and finally joined their bodies. "Uh hah! Kanda…you feel so good…"

Allen closed his eyes tight trembling with the restraint to not start driving into his lover's body right then. Kanda looked up in awe of Allen's pleasure-filled face. "M-Moyashi, move." Allen complied, slowly rocking into him until the pain Kanda felt slowly faded away and the burn faded into pleasure. "Mnn…more..harder," Kanda demanded in his deep voice, slightly rough from arousal.

Allen looked up concerned that if he did as commanded he would hurt Kanda but the look on his face was far from pain. Kanda's eyes were glazed over, his cheeks flushed, and his mouth hung open, his long silky hair cascading over his shoulders. Allen took that as a good sign and sped up his thrusts until he was slamming into him, hitting that sweet spot dead on and he cried out.

"Does it feel good…Kanda?"  _He asked me that just like in my fantasy, but in real life it's even better_. "Mnn…Yes…" he breathed out, so sensual Allen had to hold back from reaching completion from that alone. Allen kept thrusting into him and Kanda hooked his legs over Allen's hips, gripping his shoulders, his long shiny hair fanned out on the pillow beneath him. "Nng…Kanda…so close!" "Mnn…me too…touch me Moyashi?"

Allen reached between their bodies and pumped Kanda's erection in his hand until they both had the most intense orgasm of their lives causing their bodies to tremble, blinding white pleasure flooding every cell. Allen collapsed panting on top of him, absently noting Kanda had screamed out his real name and not his nickname when he reached completion, but he didn't know what it meant.

He felt a spike of fear expecting Kanda to shove him out of bed, tell him he hated him, and to leave him alone forever, but he was still panting beneath him. "You're heavy." "Hm." Allen rolled off him and curl up against the wall staying as far away as possible without leaving his bed until being yanked roughly toward Kanda pressed chest to chest like he was before only slightly to the side so they could still breathe. But Allen was still tense expecting violence once the afterglow wore off.

Kanda felt his Moyashi's tense muscles so he kissed Allen's forehead and started stroking random patterns on his back and until he finally relaxed. Allen studied Kanda's handsome profile started stroking lazy circle on his naked hips which caused Kanda to have to focus on trying not to get aroused again.  _Damn Moyashi is just too erotic for his own good, how can he not realize what he does to me?_

When he looked down at Allen's face about to ask for a second round, Kanda noticed he had fallen asleep looking like an innocent cherub. Kanda thought about how false that innocent facade was, because he was evil enough to leave him alone and aroused from his seductive touches and the soft breath tickling his neck. So he sighed and tightened his hold around Allen's waist, stroking the soft skin with his thumb.

"I love you Allen Walker." 

When Kanda had fallen asleep Allen opened his eyes, he didn't know what was more shocking that he had said his full name for the first time in his life or that Kanda Yuu really felt that deeply for him, because no one but Mana had ever loved him. And he wasn't sure he deserved it, or if he was ready for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: *fanning herself, wipes blood from her nose* I hope you enjoyed it, please leave a review and support my first fanfic! Oh and this is my first lemon too! I already have the next chapter partially written so it will be up soon, follow so you don't miss it :) Stay tuned for Allen drugged by Tyki. Oh and is Allen more experienced than Kanda and has been corrupted by Cross, or is there something else at play? Heh heh, find out in the next chapter.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This might be the final chapter, if you really like it post a comment and I may decide to write more. I would love some feedback. I'll be writing more stories soon :)
> 
> I do not own D. Gray-Man

Allen and Kanda were headed to their next assignment to Paris on the train. It was a mission so dangerous that four exorcists had been required. The other two had left the cabin, leaving the boys alone.

"I can't call you 'Yuu'." "Why not?" "Because Lavi calls you that." He swore he heard Kanda growl and curse under his breath in Japanese. "But the only one I have ever wanted to call me that is you."

Allen still looked unconvinced and Kanda was about to argue his point further, but sighed instead.  _The Moyashi will only do it if he wants to anyway, stubborn brat_. Allen moved from his place across from Kanda to sit next to him so he could put his head on his shoulder and lace their hands together.

Kanda stiffened still not quite used to the contact, but he soon relaxed fighting not to smile and set his cheek on Allen's hair inhaling his sweet scent that contrasted so well with his own woodsy scent that made him think of them being naked together…

 _And_  he instantly shut down that line of thought, knowing now was not the time to have a full blown fantasy of them making much better use of their cabin.

Suddenly they were both startled by a knock on their door. Allen flew off Kanda like he had been burned and took his place across from him. They still hadn't told their friends they were sort of together now, for a host of good reasons, but it still peeved Kanda that Allen had left his touch so violently.

Kanda wasn't ready to tell their friends either.  He didn't want to be constantly annoyed by having Lenalee fangirl at them and Lavi teasing them about their sex life (because he surely would if he knew). But seeing Allen's adorable embarrassed sputtering whenever Lavi teased him might be nice, maybe there was a good reason to tell them after all…

He stood up and punched Allen in the gut in retaliation for jumping away from him and then sat down. Poor Allen, who was currently gasping, probably had no idea why Kanda was mad at him. It was always something with him.

The door opened just in time for Lavi and Lenalee to see Allen clutching his stomach and Kanda looking guilty (and by guilty, he was simply looking out the window as if nothing had happened). "Kanda what did you do!" Lenalee looked ready to explode, she walked over to Kanda and smacked him on the back of the head before sitting down next to him. "What was that for woman?!" "You know what you did," she narrowed her eyes.

"Hey Allen," Lavi winked and took the seat next to him and scooted close to him. Lavi saw the glare Kanda sent his way for sitting so close to his Moyashi, but pretended he didn't notice with a large grin plastered on his face. "Having fun with Yuu-chan, I see? Did you forget to tell him he looks pretty today?" Kanda stood up, sword drawn, and yelled in his deep voice, "BASTARD! Do you want to die?"

"Kanda, calm down." Allen stood up and ran his hand up and down Kanda's arm and he slowly cooled off. Lenalee and Lavi sat in shock as if witnessing Allen charm a snake or tame a tiger. The boys took their respective seats and the other two didn't dare ask how Allen had managed to do it for fear of inciting Kanda's wrath again. The rest of the ride was rather uneventful as they made themselves up-to-date on the details of their mission.

Once they arrived Kanda and Allen split up from the others, each to take a corner of the city. Kanda was secretly frustrated Allen had suggested they all split up. Normally he was the first to suggest they split up, but wasn't the idiot aware how dangerous this mission was? It wasn't like he was worried about Allen or anything…he had proven himself before but he had also nearly died when his innocence was stolen… ;)

Ok so he was worried, that idiot was useless without him, or so he'd like to think and he was still a little upset at Allen for making them think he was dead when he was so badly injured by Tyki. He hadn't realized how much it would hurt to be without him, like his heart was being ripped out.

It was all that devil in disguise's fault, he should never have had to 'feel' anything, but Allen's angelic charm had forced him to without even realizing it. If only he didn't feel so much for him he wouldn't need to spend so much energy on these annoying emotions and he wouldn't have to worry about the one he now loved. That's it, he was definitely going to smack him when he comes back for making him worry.

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Later that night after killing several akuma, Kanda was attacked by Road and had been stabbed by several of her pointed candles. He managed to get away before she had control over his mind, but not before she showed him horrifying images of Allen dead in his arms. It left him furious and wanting revenge on her for making him see something so terrible he would never be able to forget it.  _Never_.

But something made him realize that if he was with a Noah, then Allen probably was too. They always seemed to go after him. Allen was probably in danger. It was more important to get to him first, and that need to get to Allen instead of being weighed down by his anger toward Road may have saved his own life as well (even if he didn't believe he  _could_  die).

He was running as fast as he could get back to their meeting spot, willing the pain away so that he could run faster, but he slowed down when he reached his destination. And there just twenty feet in front of him was Tyki Mikk, crouching over Allen on the ground like a creepy vampire about to get his fill, he had the gleam of a predator in his eyes.

Kanda immediately attacked him after seeing Allen on he ground barely moving, obviously hurt. They fought it out until he heard Allen call out to him, and he ran toward him. Tyki pouted, "Eh…how disappointing this night has become, and it was going to be so  _good_  too. You ruined all the fun I was going to have with him, I will punish you next time I see you don't forget that," he sighed and then took off into the night.

After making sure Tyki was retreating he turned his gaze to Allen to observe him. "Let's go before Road comes looking for us, that brat is obsessed with you. Can you stand?" Allen still seemed wobbly but he attempted to stand as Kanda supported him but his knees buckled and he collapsed back down. Kanda panicked looking over his body for grievous injury and finding none.

"Nng…Kanda, I feel hot." He checked his forehead for a fever but found none even though Allen's cheeks were flushed and he seemed out of it. "Kanda…touch me," he breathed. Kanda's face flushed a beautiful shade of red. "Idiot! This is not the ti-! Oh."

The heat of the life and death situation must have clouded his reasoning for him to not notice that something was off with his lover. Even though they can't keep their hands off each other, Allen would not be that much of a fool as to make advances in a situation like this.

Kanda looked down between his moyashi's legs noticing he was painfully hard and he tried to resist the urge to touch him right there in the middle of the street. Even with his strict sense of discipline he wasn't able to stop himself, he reached down and massaged Allen through his pants. "Ah! Mnn…Kanda what's…wrong with me?" "You've been drugged," the deep voice made Allen's arousal throb.

Kanda stopped his ministrations much to Allen's disappointment, jerking his hand back in order to stop himself from jumping his moyashi. So he picked him up and ran back to the inn, "Mikk…that bastard! I'll kill him! He was going to- to you!" Allen didn't answer only squirmed in Kanda's arms, uncomfortably hot in all his clothes and unconsciously trying to wiggle out of them.

He would have flinched a little at Kanda's murderous aura if he had been able to notice. It began to rain heavily soaking their clothes, and Allen hoped it would cool down his burning skin. "Please Yuu, help me?"

Kanda was sure the way Allen moaned his name was the sexiest thing he'd ever heard. He might just have to thank that heartless bastard for unknowingly putting an uninhibited sex-addicted Allen in his arms, but he would thank his lifeless body after he killed him for trying to take  _his_  Moyashi.

"I promise I'll take care of you. Now shut up and stop squirming so I can get there faster."  _Because just looking at him when he's like this is enough to make me want to slam him against the wet ground and fuck him until neither of us can move_.

When they got back to the Inn Kanda struggled to open the door with Allen still in his arms, but when he finally opened it he was so relieved he couldn't contain himself. Kanda crushed their lips together and then started down his jaw to his neck, making sure to suck hard and mark him there as they bumped into chairs and walls on their way to the bed.

When they finally got there, Kanda laid Allen down and stripped him of his wet clothes. "Hm, Moyashi, we're wet just like the first time we made love." "Yeah…" Allen sat up and helped Kanda out of his wet shirt. "Kanda, you're bleeding!" It was so impossible to focus on anything but his aching arousal, but seeing Kanda covered in blood was enough to bring him out of the haze, at least for a moment.

"It's not as bad as it looks, it'll be gone in the morning." He cupped Allen's angelic face as he stared up at him worriedly with his big silver eyes and tried not to smile at how much he loved that face. Allen gently wiped off the excess blood with Kanda's already ruined shirt and slowly started caressing his sides without even realizing he was doing it. He felt the muscles ripple as Kanda shivered under his touch.

He looked up but didn't see much before Kanda crashed their lips together again. "Kanda…touch me…" Then Kanda attacked, kissing and nipping on his neck, pulling him close by his waist. He felt as if he had been drugged too, seeing Allen like this was making him crazy, and with all the distractions at the Order he didn't get to be with his moyashi nearly enough.

He tore off Allen's clothes with Mugen, and Allen looked surprised though he should have expected it in some ways and also expected how good Kanda's swordsmanship was because he didn't have a scratch. Kanda gasped when he felt an icy cold hand slip into his pants and around the tip of his length.

"Kanda, take these off…  _now_." Allen looked at his pants as if they had commented a crime, and Kanda nearly ripped them off as if agreeing that they did commit a crime by separating him from the warmth of his lover's body. They moaned when they finally felt skin on skin. "Why are you so.. _warm_  Kanda?" He looked up into Kanda's dark eyes with a sweet innocent expression that made his breath catch. But it wasn't  _that_  innocent given he was naked and rubbing against him, which made it incredibly sexy.

Allen continued to rub against his slick erection causing Kanda to moan softly. He kissed his way down his moyashi's chest and covered a pink nipple with his mouth, making him arch his back. "M-more…please…" "Is this not enough for you?" he teased, but it was clear Allen could barely hear the words, too drugged to understand much besides the sultry tone of Kanda's voice. "Che."

He moved down Allen's stomach to his aching arousal, already desperate and leaking desire. Kanda grabbed hold of it and licked it, causing him to shiver and buck up unintentionally. He rubbed Allen's hip with his free hand and started to suck him. Allen's hand shot to his long black hair and grasped it rather tightly but he didn't force any of Kanda's movements.

That hand in his sensitive hair caused him to groan around Allen. "Mnn…Moyashi you taste good." "Ah! Kanda don't stop…" Allen threw his head back and moaned when Kanda started sucking him again, his warm wet mouth sending pleasure through his overly sensitive body. "Hah…so close…nnn…Kanda!"

Allen's body shook as he released in his lover's waiting mouth. He looked down at Kanda's smirking face and then threw his head back panting. "Moyashi, you look so beautiful like this…" he said leaning over him. Allen, eyes half-lidded and still full of desire, cupped Kanda's slightly flushed face and pulled him into a sensual kiss.

When he pulled back for air, Kanda rested his forehead against Allen's with his eyes closed, feeling the rise and fall of his chest with his hand. "Feeling better?" Allen shook his head and writhed beneath him.

In fact his body was still burning from the effects of the aphrodesiac.  _It's not enough I'm going crazy_. He gently pushed Kanda onto his back and crawled onto him, kissing and nipping at his neck and chest as he rubbed his knee against Kanda's hardness. He looked stunning, his long hair spread out on the bed, his dark eyes full of lust.

Allen watched at him as he made his way down to Kanda's arousal. He licked him unable to concentrate too hard until he finally engulfed him, sucking gently. Allen rubbed himself clumsily, unable to stop himself in his drug addled condition. Kanda felt like he was being teased and it was nearly painful, but he knew Allen was trying to see through his daze, and just watching his beloved moyashi do something like that to him even in that state was enough to send him to the edge.

"Nnn- no, enough Moyashi. Hah…damn." He pulled Allen off him by his soft snow white hair, his lover was flushed and begging to be touched and his slicked lips begging to be kissed.

Kanda lifted him to lay next to him as he turned over to look at his aroused moyashi. The emotion he was feeling by being close to him was nearly too much to bear, and he hated feeling like this. As if he didn't know what to do.

He pulled his lover closer to him and kissed him gently. "Do you want me to make love to you, Allen?"  _Damn that voice! And he said my name_ … "Yes! I want you," he breathed as he nearly moaned out the words. To think only a month ago he had only dreamed of hearing those words from Allen's mouth.

"Then stay here, I'll be right back. Don't start without me, Moyashi." Allen was tempted to do just that, but he knew he would be unsatisfied without his beautiful lover. Kanda dug through his overnight bag and returned with a jar of oil.

"Will you be ok?" "What do you mean?" Allen pointed to the deep gash in Kanda's side. "I'm fine."  _And even if I wasn't, I still wouldn't pass up a chance like this_. "Hm," Allen relented and pulled him down to kiss him heatedly. He lost himself in it, almost forgetting his burning need until he felt Kanda's finger rub against him and slip inside.

He writhed impatiently, trying to think what he could do to make his lover hurry up. He figured Kanda must be impatient too, though he'd never admit it, because he added another to his ministrations, stroking him inside. "Ah! Kanda…nng" He opened his eyes to see Kanda staring at him intently, watching Allen's every reaction, listening to every sound.

His dark eyes were burning with intensity and it was so beautiful Allen almost couldn't bear to look, but he forced himself to, to burn the image in his mind. "Please…Kanda stop…I can't…I need you." He tried forming words but his drugged addled mind wouldn't allow it. It made Kanda's every caress feel like it was burning through him. "No." "No?! Kanda-"

He silenced his complaints with a kiss while he continued moving his fingers in and out of Allen, with a torturing slowness. "Nnng…Why Kanda?" "I'm enjoying this too much to stop now," he said in a deep, matter-of-fact tone.

Now that he thought about it Kanda did look very hot and bothered from just watching him. But he had enough teasing and two can play at that, although he was surprised he could think clearly enough to use the weapons in his arsenal. "Please Yuu?"  _Heh. He can't say no to me now_.

Kanda froze completely and growled, then slammed hard into his moyashi. They both sighed in relief and Kanda smirked when he felt Allen cling to him, he secretly liked whenever Allen did that. Then Allen noticed Kanda's toned body was shaking with restraint, to give him time, and not immediately fuck him into next year.

But Allen didn't mind when Kanda was rough with him either (though he surprisingly rarely was unless he was angry and taking it out on him). Right now, with how his body felt he couldn't wait anymore. "Yuu move please, I want you to." Kanda nearly collapsed when he heard that, such perfect words from his sweet moyashi, he could hardly believe it was real.

He quickly gave Allen what they both wanted and he realized with amusement that Allen may have smacked him if he hadn't moved right then. Allen could be rough too, when he wanted to be. That was one reason they worked so well together, they complemented each other in every way.

"Allen…" Kanda groaned into his neck and he started a faster pace, gripping Allen's hips so tight they might bruise as the other gently raked his nails down his back. Kanda tried to repress a shiver at the arousing feeling but he couldn't. He tried to stop the groans from spilling from his lips, Allen did the same by biting his lip, but Kanda did it by latching his lips and sucking hard on his pulse causing Allen to moan and bite so hard he split his lip.

He slowed down for a moment releasing Moyashi's neck and tenderly kissed down his jaw to his bleeding lip and licked it clean. It seemed so out of place and Allen was taken aback by the intimacy of it even while making love.

Kanda worked his way down to nibble on his neck and sped up again as if nothing had happened. "Hah…don't stop Kanda." "As if…I could Moyashi…nng…"

Allen realized Kanda had just called him that nickname because he was angry he hadn't used his given name a moment ago. It was strange seeing him get mad at him for not doing that when he got so mad at Lavi for doing the opposite. As if sensing he was thinking of someone else Kanda growled at bit down hard where his neck met his shoulder.

Allen cried out, the sting of his bite sent pleasure shooting though his body. He apologized by licking the spot to soothe the pain and started pounding into Allen the way he'd wanted him to.

Kanda's hair was spilling over his shoulders, and Allen stared at it through squinted eyes, fascinated as it moved with his thrusts. He reached up and tangled his fingers in the dark silky locks, crying out when Kanda hit that sweet place inside especially hard. "Yes! Mmn…Yuu!"

Allen's eyes squeezed shut and tears welled up as he panted and spasmed underneath his lover's body. A low groan escaped Kanda's kiss reddened lips and he slowed, riding out his release. He didn't allow them too much time to catch their breath before he claimed Allen's lips.

He rolled off him and allowed Allen onto his chest and wrapped his arms around him possessively. "Feeling better now?" "Mm…for now." Allen mumbled against his skin where he was nuzzling Kanda's neck.

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Hours later Kanda was still helping Allen get the drug out of system (even if it was long gone). They collapsed against each other panting. Kanda leaned up to press a soft kiss to Allen's lips and then heard Allen whisper something against his neck. "I love you, Yuu."

Kanda froze, it even seemed as if he'd stopped breathing, then he sat up abruptly knocking Allen off him and pulling the blanket to his chest. He hadn't expected this, maybe never expected it, and the words seemed to means something that would change his life forever and it terrified him.

He didn't understand why Allen's expression changed and why he now looked worried until he felt a tickle run down his face. He reached up and found wetness there and stared at his wet hand in horror like it committed a grave sin against him by daring to leave his eyes. "Kanda." "Shut up don't say anything." "Fine then I'll show you."

Allen moved over to him and straddled his lap and put both hands on his face wiping his tears away. Allen gently peppered his face in loving kisses, like Kanda had done before their first kiss, before moving his hands to sweep through his long black hair. "I heard you that night." It took a moment before Kanda realized what he meant.

"What?! That was not meant for you to hear," he said glaring, his face red, probably from anger but he couldn't tell. "Yeah well, you can't un-hear something like that, like you can't un-hear Lavi's singing… When I heard what you said, I was…scared. My world fell apart when I lost Mana, and I was worried about- I never wanted to go through that again. But…whether or not I admit it, I would still feel the same if something happened to you whether we stayed together or not. In fact it would be worse if I was filled with regret."

He felt a minor spike of jealousy that Mana had earned Allen's love, but he knew it was childish so he quickly buried it. "Yes, I came to that conclusion a month ago." "You did?" he seemed amused, "I would never think you would admit something like that before me." "Yeah well I was probably thinking about it more, you fool." He turned away harshly to hide his blush, he really hadn't meant to admit that.

"Yuu. I love you. I want us to be together for as long as possible and I don't care if I die as long I have a chance to be close to you." "Idiot!" Kanda hissed grabbing Allen roughly by the shoulders. "Huh?" "You're not allowed to die before me. I forbid it. If you do I will turn you into an akuma and then kill you again!" he growled.

Allen believed he would do it too, he had a frightening ability to hold a grudge. "You can't die before me either Bakanda. I guess we'll have to die together then?" "Idiot…" he muttered under his breath, probably annoyed at Allen for being sentimental.

00000000000000000000000000000

Kanda hesitated in asking his question. "So…why is that you seemed to…have more experience than me? Were you with someone else before me?"  _And do I really want to know the answer to that_?

"Ask Lavi," Allen replied.

. . .

"WHAT?!" Kanda immediately gained a demonic aura. "Kanda! Calm down!" "I WILL SLICE HIM WITH MUGEN AND MAKE HIM WISH FOR DEATH!" Allen sighed and nearly face-palmed.

"Kanda…I've never been with anyone before you. I only knew…what I knew because Lavi is a perv and he was constantly reading to me and showing me dirty books. And of course there's Master Cross…" "I knew it!" Allen walked over to Kanda, put his arms around him and rested his head on his shoulder.

"You're the only one I've ever had and the only one I ever want." Suddenly all the anger in his body melted under Allen's embrace and he sighed and wrapped his arms around him tightly. He smirked,  _I have tamed the tiger_. But it didn't matter to Allen that Kanda was wild and unpredictable, he fell for him exactly the way he was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MilenaRose: 'Lost his innocence' heehee who else thinks naughty things every time they hear that or 'how do I get my innocence back?' Maybe I'm just a perv...
> 
> Kanda: yeah...
> 
> MilenaRose: Hey, uhhh, you guys? Whatever happened to Lavi and Lenalee? Are they still alive after you guys left them?
> 
> (note: didn't deny being a perv)
> 
> *Kanda kisses up Allen's neck, author tries not to die from nose-bleed related blood loss*
> 
> Kanda: Hmm? Lavilee who?
> 
> Allen: Shit!
> 
> MilenaRose: Heh Heh, and they called me the pervert, you guys got so distracted you forgot about your mission. Oh well, c'est la vie.
> 
> P.S. I plan to write more stories soon, one is already written. And I love Yullen so I'll probably writing more D. Gray-Man too. I may even continue this one. If you liked this story and are interested in more you might want to follow me so you won't miss anything. Please review, I would love to hear what you have to say even if it's only a few words. Thank you :)
> 
> Update: I'm currently thinking about adding another chapter fyi kitties, it's in the works


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yay a new chapter! It's really cute. I hope you like it! It's evolved from a three shot into a multi-chapter story. Warning: Man love (do I need to warn for this? I would hope not)
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-Man

 

Lavi burst into Allen's room, Lenalee was trailing behind him, with the intention to rope him into a new exciting prank, (also Lenalee and the bookman were hoping to catch the cute little Moyashi naked).

They were not disappointed. Allen was naked sitting upright on his bed looking over his shoulder at them in adorable red-faced shock, but unfortunately for them Allen had ripped the sheet up in a panic to cover his nakedness.

Only…

The sheet didn't cover the face and chest of the very naked Kanda that was lying between his legs.

Lavi blushed furiously and grinned while Lenalee covered her face in shock, attempting to hide her nose bleed. Kanda growled and screamed obscenities at them while he wrapped Allen in the sheet like a mummy so that no one would see his body. That was his privilege alone.

Lavi was thrilled despite the small twinge of jealousy that Allen had chosen Kanda and not him. But he loved teasing them both, and he cared for their happiness. Lenalee covered her face and nosebleed and excused herself. Allen was looking at Lavi over his shoulder, which the bookman thought was  _awfully_  appealing.

Kanda shielded Allen eyes with his hands, as if it could hide him from Lavi. "What are you doing Kanda? Are you trying to preserve my innocence?  _We're_  the ones that are naked…" Kanda let out an annoyed huff and uncovered his eyes as he pulled the mummified moyashi into his lap. He sat up fully, wrapping his arms around him possessively.

Lavi cleared his throat, "So…uh…you two then?"

Allen looked at Kanda who nodded.

"Huh…"

The bookman stood watching them until Kanda shouted, "Well get out, before I slice you into pieces!"

"Oh, right," he said as he pivoted and scurried away closing the door behind him. The samurai didn't add 'for trying to see my Moyashi naked,' but he was thinking it as he watched the bookman leave. He would shish-kabob the red headed idiot if Allen didn't want to be with him anymore because they had found out about the two of them.

oooooo0000000000000oooooo

At first it was difficult adjusting to their two closest friends knowing about the nature of their relationship. Lenalee didn't bother them too much, but secretly she took pictures of them when she caught them doing cute things and Lavi was her willing accomplice.

Kanda pretend to hate it, but a part of him wanted to see those pictures himself. But Lavi did bother them, teasing them every chance he got, just like Kanda dreaded he would. But to his great enjoyment Allen sputtered adorably whenever Lavi teased him, and Kanda loved watching it.

By the end of the week Allen was exhausted from fleeing Lavi's embarrassing questions and he passed out on Kanda's bed while he was waiting for him to come back from his training.

When Kanda walked in and saw the Moyashi curled up in his bed like a sweet little kitten he thought about waking him, but he couldn't bear to do it. But when the silver haired exorcist woke in the morning and told his lover he was going celibate if Lavi kept bugging him, Kanda was out for blood.

. . .

After that Lavi toned it down a bit (once he recovered), but he still delighted in teasing them, but Kanda didn't mind as long as Allen still wanted to be with him.

oooooo000000000000000oooooo

Allen was sitting in the cafeteria with Kanda, Lenalee, and Lavi, a stack of plates in front of him like always. He was listening to Lavi blabber on about his latest adventure. Kanda was actually sitting with them for once, trying to contain his annoyance at the bookman's never ending chatter.

The long haired exorcist jolted when he thought something touched him under the table. He muttered a 'che,' and continued eating his soba as if it never happened. It was only an accident…only it wasn't. When he felt it again he knew it wasn't an accident because of the slow brush of the offender's leg.

He looked at the others, but there was nothing suspicious. Lavi was droning on, and the other two were listening intently. Still he narrowed his eyes at his silver haired lover sitting across from him, who wasn't looking at him to be able to notice. Again he resumed his meal only to drop his chopsticks when the marauding foot brushed him in a sensitive place.

"Are you alright Yuu?" Lavi asked.

"Fine. And don't call me that!" he said curtly.

"Are you sure Kanda? You look a little red…are you sure you don't have a fever?" his lover questioned tilting his head to the side like an adorable kitten, but there was also a kitten-like glint of mischief in his eyes. Kanda growled and locked his gaze onto his food until the chatter resumed.

And once again that foot slid up his leg and ran back and forth against his thigh. He suppressed a moan, bitting his lip and glaring at Allen, only this time he was looking right back at him with the most evil smile as his foot rubbed against the bulge in Kanda's pants.

The older exorcist gasped in shock and pleasure and then slammed his hands on the table, pulling Allen by his collar as he growled, "If you do that one more time I will bend you over this table and take you right here in front of everyone. You got that?"

Lenalee squeaked, and Lavi was grinning like a maniac as he wiggled his eyebrows. Allen blushed profusely and nodded vigorously.

"Che," Kanda settled back into his seat, and waited for the other two to come out of their stupor. Lavi started talking again but continued giving them looks, and Lenalee was still blushing, while Allen was absentmindedly moving things around on his plate.

"Oh forget it!" Kanda shouted as he lifted Allen over his shoulder, intent to carry his prize back to his room to have his way with him.

"What are you doing?! Put me down Bakanda!"

"You asked for this."

Well, he couldn't exactly argue with that. The samurai said no more as he left the room, leaving everyone in the cafeteria puzzled. They figured they must be fighting each other as usual, only Lavi and Lenalee knew the truth. Allen was going to be punished.

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A few weeks later Allen and Kanda had been sent on a mission together, which was usually a rare occasion since Komui still thought they hated each other, or so they had assumed. The man was actually quite wily, he was a genius after all.

He had seen the chemistry between them long before either of them noticed it, and he had always secretly rooted for Kanda to win Allen over, or vice-versa. In reality it had taken a bit of both.

Komui wasn't sure of the progress of their relationship until he had seen (because of the snooping sister-complex he was he had to snoop so he could kill off any of Lenalee's potential boyfriends) the stash of pictures of the two of them Lenalee kept under her bed.

Most of them were sweet but a few of them were rather… scandalous.  _Where had his sister been hiding to get that shot?_  he thought tilting his head to the side as he looked at the steamy picture of two of the Order's strongest fighters.

He sighed and left to send the two on a mission, vowing to make copies of the pictures and have a fangirl attack later.

oooooo0000000000000000000oooooo

Once again for some idiotic reason he couldn't remember, he and his silver haired lover had decided to separate in order to cover more ground. And Kanda had been hit from behind, despite his impeccable reflexes, hard enough to knock him out (unless he was dead, he didn't think he was dead yet).

_And he complains that I'm overprotective… Next time I'll just tie him to the hotel bed and leave him there until I finish the mission and come back (and thoroughly make love to him too)_.

He stirred, his head was spinning but he could make out the silhouette of the one person he hated more than anything.

"We meet again exorcist," Road purred.

Her voice was annoyingly cheerful given the state of Kanda's current discomfort, but he could feel his cursed body already trying to heal itself. He was laying on a cold, damp, concrete floor and when he went to sit up he realized he was chained to the wall.

"If you're going to kill me get it over with!" Even the sound of his own voice made his head pound.

"Nuh uh, not just yet. I want to play with you first. So I have been going through your recent memories while you were asleep…" her smile turned sinister, "Have you been enjoying my Allen, keeping him satisfied? He was your first wasn't he? That's so sweet. How does it feel to know that I was the first to touch his lips."

"You're lying," he spat with venom.

"Oh? He didn't tell you? I guess he doesn't care very much for you. The others never mentioned it either, hmm? You were the only one that wasn't there, that's fitting isn't it," she laughed.

"No," Kanda growled.

"Perhaps I should release you so you can ask him yourself that would be amusing. Or I can show you the memory directly when my Allen arrives, wouldn't that make you tremble with fury? Tyki is going to get him. You know Tyki is also quite interested in Allen, aren't you Tyki?"

The Noah looked up from where he was playing with his deck of cards disinterestedly.

"Hmm? Yes, he is rather interesting isn't he… You spoiled my fun last time pretty-faced exorcist, and I will punish you for that. But for now I think I'll let Road play with you while I find our favorite toy. Maybe once I bring him here, we can all play together."

"You won't touch him!" Kanda snapped, and any normal human might have turned to into a block of ice from his death glare alone.

_If I wasn't in these chains_ …

"Is that so? We'll see about that," Tyki replied casually.

Kanda struggled violently against his chains as he watched the vile Noah leave to hunt down the one he loved. How? How could he escape to get to his lover, there had to be a way.

The images Road had showed him last time of Allen cold and lifeless in his arms still woke him up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat and shaking. There was nothing she could show him that would be worse. He had to beat her somehow, had to reach his sword which was tossed somewhere in the dark room, however his chains only reached so far.

But he was wrong, having Road show him those things over and over was affecting him, despite his attempts to talk himself down, telling himself it wasn't real. But it could be real, it could happen at any moment and the strength he was using to fight the images was wearing down.

oooooo00000000000000000000000000000oooooo

Tyki found Allen as the exorcist was finishing off a group of low level akuma. When the Noah approached him, Allen spun around and managed to knock Tyki to the ground and straddle him.

"You know I can escape you easily. My body can pass through anything I choose, which means I can slide right through you. But I think I'll stay, I'm rather enjoying myself right where I am," Tyki's smirk turned monstrous, "I see you like to be on top. Are you normally the one to take him or does he take you?"

"Where…is…Road?" Allen growled out slowly.

"Aren't you having fun with me? That pretty-faced exorcist was very protective of you last time. Did he enjoy the effects of the drug on you? Tell me the details."

Allen punched him in his handsome face hard and growled again before shouting with a tinge of desperation, "Where is he!"

"Fine, fine, I'll tell you. But only for another opportunity to play."

Allen fled after Tyki told him where to find Road before the Noah of pleasure could attempt to lay his hands on him. The man had only laughed, like he had some awful trick up his sleeve. The young exorcist paid it no attention, he had no choice, he had to get to Kanda no matter what. No matter what was laid in store for him, he had to try.

oooooo0000000000000000oooooo

When Allen arrived where Tyki told him Road would be, he kicked the door down and ran inside. There he saw Kanda chained to the wall, his side was cut and he had a small cut on his cheek, but worst of all was a deep gash in his leg. He looked like he was struggling to stand until he collapsed to his knees, he blinked from the bright light of the newly opened door. Road released the hold she had on his mind when she sensed her beloved Allen approaching.

"Oh Allen, you just couldn't stay away from me could you?" she cooed.

He ran right past her and knelt at Kanda's side, but the samurai seemed to look right through him. Allen had never seen Kanda like this before and he was worried. He left his side to grab Mugen, where it had been tossed away and placed it in Kanda's hand hoping it would help to have his most precious object in his hands, but he still barely moved. Road was growing irritated that she was being ignored.

"Not even going to say hello to me Allen? I'm hurt."

"What have you done to him?"

"Nothing, he did this to himself. I only showed him what could be, he just isn't handling it well," she laughed.

"Road. Why would you do this?" he said, you could hear the pity in his voice and in his eyes as he looked at her.

"Why? Because I wanted to play with him," she laughed again, "But I tell you what I'll let you go. This has been fun, but I'm in it for the long haul. I'm going to enjoy slowly breaking him, on my way to you Allen." She slipped through her door as she continued to laugh and sing the creepiest song he'd ever heard.

_Yes, this has been far too easy, something isn't right. Kanda what have they done to you?_

When he was sure Road was gone Allen fell to his knees and shook Kanda by the shoulders. "Snap out of it! Please Yuu," Allen cried burying his face in his chest.

His fingers twitched around Mugen at hearing his first name and tentatively he spoke, "M-Moyashi?"

"It's Allen, Bakanda," he said wrapping his arms around him and nuzzling his neck. Allen stood up and broke the chains binding Kanda to the wall, and helped him up. "Are you ok?"

Kanda didn't answer and Allen began to worry even more, "Yuu?"

"I'm fine, Moyashi."

"Let's go home."

_Home_ , Kanda thought.  _That's right, I have a home now. Wherever he is, is my home_.

oooooo00000000000000000000000oooooo

When they got back to the Order, it was late at night. Kanda refused to go the hospital wing, even after Allen begged him, so he helped carry him to his room. Once there Allen laid Kanda down on his bed and went over to his closet to bring out a box of medical supplies.

"What happened to you?" Allen asked softly as he undressed his dark haired lover in order to treat his wounds.

"It doesn't matter."

"It does." Allen poured alcohol on the cut on his side as if to emphasize his point. Kanda hissed when Allen helped him out of his pants and cleaned the deep cut in his leg. "Please tell me Yuu, I'm worried." After seeing Allen was near tears, he brushed his hand over his cheek. It startled his young lover at first, but he soon leaned into the gentle touch. Eventually Allen pulled away to tightly wrap his injured leg.

"That Noah brat… she made me see things. Last time too, but this time she showed it to me over and over, I thought it would never end."

"Showed you what?"

"You," Kanda replied.

"Me?" Allen asked confused.

"I was holding you and you were dead. After that, every time I held you I had to convince myself that you were real and breathing. I can't do it again. Allen…"

The young exorcist let out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding. "I'm real." Allen whispered pushing him back so he could straddle him, careful to avoid his injured leg. Gently he brought his lips to Kanda's just barely sweeping across them to close his dazed eyes and place a kiss on each of his eye lids.

"Don't trust your eyes yet. Just feel me." He brought Kanda's hand to splay over his bare chest, absently the older exorcist wondered when he had taken off his shirt. "Feel my heart beat. It's real." He brought up his hand to kiss his palm. "Hear my voice." Allen leaned forward and whispered, "Open your eyes."

Kanda obeyed and gazed into his Moyashi's silver eyes. "Look at me, I am real. And I'm right here." Kanda looked at him, but turned away when the pain of his memory surfaced. That alone was like a spear through Allen's heart.

"I love you," Allen whispered as he turned Kanda back to face him and tentatively moved forward to kiss him.

Kanda's mind wandered _, It feels good. He's warm and alive. It feels like it's been so long since I last kissed him. Far too long_ _._

Allen wrapped one hand around Kanda's neck and the other gently gripped his silky hair. He was relieved when he felt Kanda's arms wrap around his waist. Kanda broke the kiss to lay his head against Allen's chest to feel his heart beat. He lived for that heart beat, if it was gone there was nothing left for him. He wasn't ready to tell his Moyashi that yet, but maybe someday he would. Allen was the only source of light in his dark life, and he needed it more than air.

"Kanda touch me. Prove to yourself that I'm real."

"I'm not a child Moyashi," he scowled.

"I'm not saying you are, but I know what it's like to be haunted by something. You and I are haunted by many things. It's ok to seek reassurance."

"Che."

"I'm yours Kanda, do what you will with me."  _With pleasure_. Kanda moved to lay down and roll on top of his lover but cried out when it put pressure on his leg.

"Lay back," Allen instructed and straddled him one more, much like the uncompromising position Lavi had found them in before. Kanda was already naked, save the towel that protected his decency when Allen had been cleaning his wounds. Allen still had his pants on and Kanda struggled to sit up to help him out of them. The silver haired exorcist shook his head and pushed Kanda back down, and stripped himself down.

Allen settled himself back over him as carefully as he could and pulled the towel that separated them away. Kanda groaned when he felt the warmth of Allen's body. His desire for his moyashi was always insatiable but instead of continuing on, Kanda just pulled his moyashi down to lay flush against him, naked skin against naked skin.

Allen was surprised by the sudden movement but soon relaxed against him. The dark haired exorcist placed soft kisses all over Allen's face, and tender chaste kisses against his lips. After a while he noticed his sweet lover had fallen asleep. Kanda smiled a gentle smile that only the moon was a witness to. After so much torment and pain he found it was easy to be lulled to sleep by the feeling of his lover's steady heartbeat against his.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'm sorry I'm such a tease! There were several parts in this chapter that could have gotten very naughty, and were indeed scandalous but never went too far. It was gonna be saucy but it mutated into a fluffy bunny fest! But it was just so cute I couldn't help myself. 
> 
> I think the next chapter will have a lemon. I hope you like this chapter, it made me smile hopefully you will too. 
> 
> Please review even if it's only a few words, it makes my happy. There are so few reviews so far that I'm dying to know what you think.
> 
> P.S. If you have a cat you know exactly what that mischievous little head tilt to the side looks like! They're little devils, but it's impossible not to love them.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: If you liked this chapter and you'd like to see more, please review. This is my first fanfiction so I would really appreciate your support and input, Thank you.
> 
> -MilenaRose


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